Please Dust the Condoms

The house has been a wreck for the past few weeks … or months. I can’t remember the last time I saw the top of my desk. So, instead of wasting another weekend cooking, cleaning, and generally not relaxing, I hired cleaners and set them up a bi-weekly schedule.

After 3 1/2 hours, they finished scrubbing and dusting and I learned quite a bit about myself.

  1. For a single woman, I create a lot of dirt.
  2. I obviously do not use my entire dining room table. There were cobwebs between the table and one of the chairs.
  3. The cleaners doubt my ability to put clean sheets on my bed and clean towels in the bathroom so they changed everything for me. Good call … good call.
  4. I’m not very good at picking up my “personal” items but the cleaners were nice enough to dust the condoms and personal lubricant.
  5. I don’t need a husband to share in the housework. I need either a wife or a team of cleaners to pick up after me, my dogs, and my cat.

I feel good with the cleaning. I mean, I can walk across the floor without slipping on the drifts of dog hair. I noticed they were not able to clear off my desk. It might be an OSHA violation to ask them to set it right. It kind of looks like a Jenga desk.

Jenga Desk

The Jenga Desk


What did I learn from all of this? Yep. Those condoms have probably exceeded their shelf life which tells me I need a ‘real’ social life.


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